Zach is behind me looking
A few seconds later I hear his voice around the corner of the house scream
"NO!!! No NO! No NOOo!"
Fear immediately grips my whole body
I could hear in his cry he saw her and it was something very bad.
I run down the hill and turn the corner to see him pulling her up out the little fish pond in the back yard
I see my brother-in-law screaming with his baby Raisa limp in his arms
His face is fear and pain
She's completely soaked and unresponsive
Lacey comes running screaming to him
"CALL 911!" Fear has gripped all of us
I run in the house to call as fast as I can
I'm frantically calling
I knew the address by heart
I can't think
I take a deep breath and try to compose myself to explain what's happening
I'm praying: O God o God Please
Im crying
I hear shouting and screaming from inside and outside the house.
All the kids start bawling all around me
I'm answering questions to 911
I walk onto the deck and look into the backyard and see the neighbor Christina doing CPR on her
With Raisa still limb and her Dad, Mom and Christina kneeling around her willing her to take a breath.
My heart froze
My brain ran off into tomorrow and what could be
What if she doesn't move? God make her move! Let her move!
My heart sank deeper and deeper
Each breath she didn't take
My eyes searched their faces
I never saw a fear so painful.
It jabbed right through me
The fear on their faces, the fear in the air, the biggest fear in our heart.
She needs to move! Please God
I never felt such desperation
I screamed inside my head
DON'T LEAVE US
OUR BABY
PLEASE! WE NEED YOU
I shook deeper than a volcano in the bottom of the sea
I cried from fear
And pain of everyones heart stopping from shock and fear
She's not responding. She's just flopping there while they're doing CPR
She was limp and white and no color
Lacey is screaming prayers and telling her to breath.
She's telling Raisa to breath
She's asking God to please give her baby life!
Zach is screaming and they're begging her to breath and live
Come on Raisa!
BREATH. RESPOND BABY. BREATH! COME ON RAISA
Everything inside me freezes
Begging the Lord to let her move, breath make a sound, even a peep
God please. Please. please. Don't take her from us. Please God. GOD MAKE HER MOVE! God look at your son Zach and daughter Lacey. Please don't take her from them. From us! GOD KEEP HER LIFE!
I don't hear what they're asking me on the phone
"Ma'am?.....ma'am" "I'm sorry, what?"
"They're on the way, stay on the phone with me. Is she breathing? Is she responding?"
"IS SHE BREATHING?!"
They continue with CPR and telling her to breath.
She should be responding by now!
I'm screaming in my brain
I'm crying. I tell them:
"Ma'am she's not responding. She's not responding... Where are they?"
"They're right around the corner. Stay on the phone with me"
"Okay I hear them. They're coming"
Everyone rushes to the front of the house.
The police woman is running out of the car with a bag and is putting the machine on the baby.
They're crowded on the ground around our baby.
Crying and screaming for her to respond.
They're warming her arms
"God please warm her up. Warm her heart breath into her, let her breath!"
Ages seem to be passing by
They're crying out for her still
She whimpers
SHE WHIMPERS!
SHE STARTS MOVING!
I saw her neck turn slightly
She was trying to move!
A tad of arm movement
The police is helping her cough
She's coughing!
She's responding
"Shes gonna be okay!" I heard the police say as she picks her up
Oh GOD!
"SHES RESPONDING! SHE MOVED!"
everyone is crying
Everyone lets out the breath we forgot we were holding for what seemed like ages
I see my brother weaken and start bawling
I see my sister keel over as it hits her
My heart dropped
I can feel my heartbeat pounding through my whole body
Thank You God for loving us so much that you spared is from the pain of loss
We're all thanking the Lord in a million voices a million ways
I'm crying
the strength leaves my body
I feel the shock through my whole body release
I almost fall over
My legs almost give way beneath me
I'm holding the baby so I need to stay standing. I need to be strong.
I'm shaking all over
My whole body is quavering and shaking
I'm still on the phone with 911
"Ma'am is she responding yet?"
I start crying harder now and my voice is cracking
I'm weak. I croak out a
"YES YESS! SHE JUST MOVED. SHES RESPONDING."
"they're going to do everything they can for you"
"Yes. Thank you. Okay thank you for everything"
Oh God thank You.Thank You"
The rest of the evening was a blur as the shock kept sinking in more and more
The reality of what could have been the outcome of those 5 minutes kept going through our heads and bringing tears to our eyes over and over for hours
These are the real times we know God is real
My heart couldn't stop thanking God for protection
I kept thinking of the pain that would have been the next day, weeks, year & life if that had happened.
The closest I've come to anything so terrifying
The scariest moment of my life
The images of our little baby in Zachs arms and his terrified face
and the sounds of the screams and the awful fear inside of us
just kept replaying over and over in my head
This is so much to take in, and it keeps sinking in
To see our baby finally take a breath
and that overwhelming release it brought
God clearly loves us so much
The rest of the week
I was out of it
I was lost in the blur of it all
Images kept repeating, I could hear and see everything that happened
thoughts of how everything could have turned out
how everything could be so drastically changed in a matter of minutes
how close we were to losing our loved baby
how amazingly blessed we are by every continued breath taken in
how Raisa is a picture of a true miracle sent from God
and what a plan He has overall
How small we are in His big plan
I just cry
I cry when I remember
I cry when I see them there screaming for her life and then her taking her breath
I cry at how gracious and loving God is with us
I cry at how our beautiful little babe is still with us
She is so loved
God wanted us to keep loving her
God wanted us to keep loving her
Her laughter is so beautiful
God wanted us to keep hearing it
Her joy is so radiant
God wanted us to keep feeling it
God wanted us to keep feeling it
Her smile is so full
God wanted it to spill into others
God wanted it to spill into others
Her heart is so pure
God wanted us to see Him though it
God wanted us to see Him though it
Her life is so valued
God has a purpose for her
God has a purpose for her
Her breath is so precious
God keeps breathing into her
God keeps breathing into her
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