on something about examination

I have this idea of being able to step outside of myself and see myself from another
logical very intuitive, wise, a lot of knowing person.
for the most part when I'm trying to make a large decision in my life
I'll try to step into that outside
I'll try step into that outside through parts of the day, small parts of my life, large parts, all of it
I'm still trying to pull together everything that my mind and heart are trying to think about
trying to define between what is fear or worry, hurts or ideals, desires, hopes, wrongs or rights,
sometimes fighting each-other, or maybe one reprimanding the other
I know the feeling in myself when I need it. Maybe push myself into it, and think outside
or sit in some music, creating random nothings that will hardly make sense to a shallow
or write out an explanation for my temporary silence towards the world or towards whatevers going on
Whats in your restless mind?
I'm not sure if any of this makes sense now because I turned on a song that brought me into a whole new path of thoughts
(this is called distraction. And I'm still not sure if I did it on purpose or not)
and now my brain is like that old rollercoaster tycoon game we used to play where nothing made sense cause it was all over the place but it also all made sense at the same time (mostly to your ideal self)
I don't know the answerz. haaallllp. anybodi want to come sit in my corner and give me all the answers to life?
Like shouldn't there be some beautiful wise old grandma out there who has been through proably all these same experiences and can sit you down and whip you back in shape with a sharp tongue
"Listen debbie. you've got it all mixed up. pull yourself together and think a little clearer"
Can someone pls send her my way? Tell her I've got the kettle going and it never empties and also I'll make her cookies and maybe draw her a poorly drawn portrait at her request
escucháme gente
I need a little more discipline in my life
51 million things to accomplish in order to have your successful life that you think I should have
should I care about that? or whats going on in my rollercoaster tycoon?