was that you?

i'm so clenched up I can't sleep
how can you sleep when your jaw is tight
and your eyes are draining
and your heart is hurting
how can you sleep when you need to talk to someone
but you're losing them as we speak
each day you get one step further from talking
and being eachothers person you used to be
i haven't been happy since I left you
(also before)
thats part of a song
but thats a part of me
i'm so tired of being disconnected
and tired of people
and tired of not having people and you
i'm tired of being more connected to songs
and those randoms who wrote them
they felt them
where are they
i'm tired
i want to sleep but its not my body thats tired
i'm tired inside and i don't know how or where to get rest anymore
sleep baby sleep
what are you waiting for?
(the beauty of this mess is that it brings me close to you)
it used to
but i'm watching those days slip far from us
and now i don't know
all I do is cry on a bathroom floor
writing this while jess benko sings
I'm sorry,
Oh I'm sorry 

wanna light a heater?

he said someone asked him that in wa and it made him laugh
I love when ppl share a phrase that made them laugh
maybe its that tonight was about stories and family histories
about cheaters and slippery hoes
theres a lot
about laughter and hidden heartbreaks
and would-be uncles
and a sister who had to make a phone call
and wants to know what he looks like now
she told me about the tears in the car before the wedding
but i love the hearts of the ones who are aware
and want it to be revealed and the waters disturbed
want the knowledge of it, to not join the island of hypocrisy
about being an upright uptight
and maybe being involved in someones life before you ask them stupid questions (thats you)
i'm glad they're sitting here on the couch til 3am
laughing at the fact that our grandpa told a quick truth about dodging the war
and then he chuckled
asking questions and calling out the foes with an h (still foes)
why are you 21 and have better answers to life than an aged vested whos gotta prove?
one of you can be at peace to die right now, sitting cross legged
and the same thing scare the other to quick heartbeats
some of us like tea and some don't
some be playing, some don't
idknow why I think of you when I hear them talking but it happens
my life feels like a simple one when i hear these stories
these are the moments of laying on carpet floors
and slowly people are scattered around the room dropping into sleep accidentally
by 4am almost anything is a bed
empty coffee cups are there to trip over
and a last rip on the porch
by morning its a scene that says
hey, people were here sharing late into the night
telling stories and giving the air some laugh to hold
thoughts and truths to take home