Bookshelf of 2022

  Book                                                               Author                                          Month

Biography: 
Surprised by Love (Joy Davidman)                  Lyle W. Dorsett                             March
John Calvin                                                       John Piper.                                     June
Gladys Alward                                                  Janet & Geoff Benge                     Nov
The Lost Novel of Walt Whitman                    Walt Whitman                                Dec

Birth: 
When Hello means Goodbye                          Paul Kirk                                         March
Safe Infant Sleep                                             James J. Mckenna                           Sept
The No-Cry Sleep Solution                             Elizabeth Pantley                            Sept
The Baby Sleep Book                                     William Sears                                  Dec

C.S Lewis: 
Mere Christianity                                            C.S Lewis                                       April
The Reading Life                                                                                                    May
The Great Divorce (2x)                                                                                          April & May
The Abolition of Man                                                                                             May
The Problem of Pain                                                                                              June
Reflections on the Psalms                                                                                      July 

Faith/Growth:
Foreign to Familiar                                          Sarah Lanier                                Feb
Gentle and Lowly                                            Dane C. Ortlund                          May
Deeper: Real Change for Real Sinners            "      "                                           Nov
War Room                                                       Chris Fabry                                  Sept
The Hand of God                                            Alister Begg                                 Nov

Foster Care/Adoption: 
Fostering Resilient Learners                           Kristen Van Marter Souers           May
Walk to Beautiful                                            Jimmy Wayne                               June

History:  
Schindler's List                                                 Thomas Keneally                           Jan
Albanian Assignment                                       David Smiley                                 Jan
Dominican Republic - Culture Smart              Ginnie Bedggood                           Oct

Pleasure/Random:
Pride and Prejudice                                          Jane Austen                                    March
The Man Who Walked Away                           Maud Casey                                   March
I Am the Messenger                                         Markus Zusak                                July
The Curious Incident of the Dog                     Mark Haddon                                 Sept
Here I Am                                                        Jonathan Safran Foer                     July 
Everything is an Illusion                                  "            "                                       August
We Are the Weather                                         "            "                                        Nov

Self-Help/Motivational:
My Dyslexia                                                     Philip Schultz                              March
Win the Day: Morning Habits                          Gale Foster                                  April
Blink: the power of thinking w/o thinking       Malcolm Gladwell                      April 
The Tipping Point                                             "             "                                    May
How to Have that Difficult Conversation        Henry Cloud                                July 
Boundaries                                                       "             "                                    August
Becoming Myself                                             Staci Eldredge                            August 

Favourites: I Am the Messenger, Walk to Beautiful, Curious Incident of the Dog
Least: Becoming Myself

Physically Read: 10
Audiobook: 29
Total: 39

Annual Reading Goals:
5 Birth 
5 Biography 
5 Classics 
5 C.S Lewis ✓
5 Growth ✓
5 History ✓ 
5 Pleasure ✓
5 Subject/Place of choice: (Adoption/Foster)

2022

 New years with extra fam was unplanned but so fun to wake up to 5+ babies every morning for 2 weeks :) 
-Trip to Idaho with my fam. 
-Snowmobiling and C flipped us off so that was pretty funny 
-Found some Hot Springs in the Idaho mountains, hot springs surrounded by snow was the perfect mix
-Took a Doula Trip overseas to Albania! 4 weeks and so fun to be in a European Country for that long! 
-Trip to Albania got postponed a day, due to silly things, but it all worked out and we made it.
We had some funny laughs that day running around and doing all the unnecessary asked for things. It was a perfect sunset that day. And we got unexpected Mexican that night. 
-Grace and I traveled together overseas and she hadn't been out of country since she was 6yrs old. So what an honor to bring her again 
-Walking the streets...always the best parts of other countries
-We were at a farm restaurant in Kruya Albania, and a violinist was playing a gorgeous violin made of beautiful old wood. I asked if I could play it and he let me and it was a more than a gift that I he let me play it. 
-Quince Fruit tree (Albania) a new one
-Watched a woman mopping her tile porch in the rain. And it was one of those memorizing moments. Watching from a balcony in Albania, this little lady, mopping in the rain. I’m not sure why it was, if it was because she was carelessly going on with her life amid a rainstorm, or the fact of someone cleaning something while the earth was being cleaned… either way, It was memorable. 
-We found on a random day that The Opera house downtown was doing Carmen and we bought tickets immediately. 
-Got to dress up and go to our first Opera in Europe! Man their voices are to die for! How can someone make you sore through mountains and valleys with only their vocal chords? 
-It made me smile when my sister texted me that she found the perfect crushed ice to eat knowing I love to eat ice 
-Threw a shower for our best girl Charlie and it was beautiful and full of wonderful people who came to bless show they care. 
-All my favourite collection of mugs broke into pieces so I tried to glue them back to life. J put together one of my best mugs to be a plant holder now, so it still holds a place 
-Made a quick short road trip across the states to pick up our babes. 
-Thankful for a good man to go with and enjoy the long straight roads with beautiful open country. Silos and fields and farms and windmills. Snacks, good music and talks. 
-I even cried in a random WV Taco Bell while eating my chalupa. I didnt mean to, but also couldn't stop it. Now it's kinda funny to think about
-Our babes I&M came to live with us. What a joy and love for life babies bring. Being a home for family makes life purposeful
-G and I played music for a political party dinner. And Mark Robinson was actually funny because he sang us two country songs karaoke style. 
-My younger taller sis got MARRIED. And what a beautiful day it was. What an honour to stand beside her making a life commitment to her man. 
-Dancing with all the babes to Hair-up and Lovebug at the wedding was one of my favourite parts of being an auntie. Teaching them how to dance crazy with my non-moves is the best 
-Wedding cleanup is always fun too. It flew by too fast. The van was a wreck and jumping in to rearrange everything to fit was normal but funny when I got asked if I ever play tetris. 
-Baby J joined our world making the #17 Matson Grandbabe 
-Lil G got her diploma and we had a day of celebration for her. Volleyball was fun with a mix of the old and new and fam from out of town.
-My lil Meggy gave us a scare and spent a couple days in the hospital. Thankful for health care even tho its long and arduous at times 
-I rode in an ambulance for the first time and I hope I never have to again 
-I bought a pair of sunglasses at the hospital with Meg because they gave me joy. Unfortunately the rims broke the first day but we make do now and they're a memory for me 

-Worked in AK with APC again. It always feels good doing heavy manual labor for hours days on end. But man does a body get sore. 
-I've never woken up at 3am so many weeks in a row. That was a new condition for work this year. 
-RTB called me Lil'Willie everyday on the jobsite and that was a funny new nickname to have. 
-I took a flight with my own Dad as the pilot! That was a strange, crazy and wowing first time thing to do! Looking down after take off and just flying over the earth, and looking over and your Dad is the one driving this! What a cool thing. 
-G and I shopped and thrifted to our hearts content. She found me good boots. And together we found enough to fill an extra suitcase 
-Rode my second flight with pilot-padre to a remote restaurant in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness! A cute little, cute little lodge that borrowed everyone a pickup to drive yourself to the lodge where they made us good burgers for lunch. And then we flew home. 
-Imagine how booguie that sounds."Oh we just flew to the lodge for lunch and back."  Well, I live a blessed life for sure. 
-Kylie helped one of my biggest dreams come true! Having long hair and knowing what an even amount of hair feels like! Gah, wow how can such a simple thing to make a heart so happy! I love when little things give you joy. Extensions were literally made for ppl with my hair condition 😂 Lord bless whoever invented them and bless anyone with my hair; with them. 
-4th of July at our house was everything a 4th should be. Hamburgers & good food. Volleyball. Everything life on a farm can offer. Good fireworks. Babies, basketball, good laughs & great talks. 
-Went skydiving for the 2nd for Graces birthday!! Honestly the 2nd was better than the first! When I told the instructor I was interested in becoming a skydiver, he spent the whole of our ride explaining every little detail on how it works. Also letting me control our free falling and how many twists and spins we did. To feel in control while falling completely out of control through the sky was an amazing experience and something that would bring me back. 
-Went to the beach w/C and it was a perfect beach trip. 
-We toured around Charleston. And spent most our time smelling amazing candles and window shopping. 
-And then we found my latest and greatest food that I fell in love with: Udon Noodles. And wow I think I found what noodles they’re eating in heaven. 

-Went to a hilarious spooky witches night where they showed you how to make “potions” and tell you stories. 
-Went to see Trevor Hall in a great open concert area and the perfect summer night 
-Baby Rollie-Pollie-Fred-Wright (Anne would be proud of how much we quote her since his birth) joined our world making #18 Matson Grandbabe 
-Birthday plans to turn 28 make me feel ancient and question my life’s turn of events since birth 😂
-I decided to celebrate by taking a weekend getaway to the beautiful mountains of Maggie Valley. And boiii was it the right choice. 
-We accidentally found a Musical of LITTLE WOMAN playing in Theaters that night! And oh my word if that wasn’t made for my birthday I don’t know what was. Holy cow I loved it. 
-In the cutest town of Waynesville with old stores and theaters and a good night walk and an Irish pub and then pouring rain. A great night. 
-C made everything extra special & perfect by being and doing everything with me all day. 
-We went to an Arts Festival famous in the Maggie Valley and on my wishlist to go for awhile. 
-Walked through so many cute good old antique shops and C bought me the most gorgeous old violin with the most perfect wooden case 🎻❤️

-Saw Joshua Bell live!!!! 4th top violinist in the world?!?! Eeek! 🤌🏼🤌🏼 I can’t believe I got to see him. Also that I got to dress up and go on a fancy date for it :) 

-and holycrappioli. He definitely started at 4yrs old and I definitely cried the whole time. 

-Baby Sunshine joined our world making #19 Matson Grandbabe 
-Took another Doula Missions trip with Lisa
-Went to the Dominican Republic for the first time 
-3 Ojos Caves is where I first had the little fishes that eat the skins off your feet. It actually freaked me out more than I thought it would since I love fish. But it tickled and scared me just a tiny bit. 
-Not sure if I fricked up one of the best things going this year 

-I regretted it with every piece of me and had to fix it 

-boy am i ever glad I did cause i love my honey

-Baby Eddie joined the fam making #20 soooo many new babies this year!

-my sister got me an advent calender that was a cheese board and you opened a new cheese everyday. honestly one of my favourite parts of christmas this year. 

-Drive through lights with my honey, and really anything christmasy was amazing especially with someone you love and love doing things with. I am so so grateful for that blessing

-Christmas was a mix of craziness. lots of emotions I've never known before

-sorri to jump so short. but it iz what it iz

Events that took over the news: (in my small very little news world)
-Russia attacked Ukraine Feb 24th 
-Will Smith slapped Chris Rock on live TV 
-Johnny Depp/Amber Heard Live Trial  April-June
-Roe Vs. Wade movement overturned June 24th
-Queen Elizabeth ll died at 96yrs old : Sept 8th 

Quotes: 
-"Who am I to question what the Lord does: Mrs.Applewhite 
-We land hard : flight attendant to Idaho
-If I leave everything out all the time, I just stop seeing it :Anne
-"Do them have Lobster at Chick-a-lay?" Wrenn
-"Hes looking for something to do on earth for the rest of his life" 
-"Would you like to be a good teacher or a boy teacher?" Madalyn
-“For Lacey heaven is Asheboro” : Zach begrudgingly 
-“I GOT A HORSE-HEAD SHIRT!” M meaning Turtleneck shirt 

Flights: 
4 (Idaho) 6 (Albania) 5 (AK) 4 (DR)

STATES: 
ID, VA, MD, WV, OH, IL, IA, MO, SD, AK, SC

Concerts:
-Joe Purdy, Gregory Alan Iskov
-Trevor Hall, Gone Gone Beyond 
-Joshua Bell 

Weddings: 
-Charlie&Jordan!

thats all we got for now bois

brothers & mothers

A Christmas night
Brothers dusting off old memories of having a father that once was theirs but left the youngers
Asking for memories that they may not remember
Sipping egg nog all night long
A sister gifts you the greatest gift that makes you cry in your own small corner
Songs that reminds her of you
It’s no small thing to have songs attached to your name and memory
It’s someones life theme song playing in the background
Wrapping gifts with a steadily faithful singing mother who gave her all and continues to give all

my steady honey helping wrap gifts amidst the chaos, but always sweetly by my side 
Mummi who sings hymnals with the bois at midnight

and sings a song in her own mother language that we should have learned 
a Finnish song with Buppa in the background filling in the words she can't remember 
It’s two brothers who come up to you and give you strong hugs to ask if you’re okay 

and offer their support 
A hug from my first cuñado that I never expected & appreciate more than I’ll ever be able to say 
Honestly the best first Christmas gift I received this year 
It’s my love being there seeing the need of making my mother the priority she deserves 
Seeing my name carved in a wooden plague for the first time in my life 
Seems simple but huge 
Have you ever had a name that no one knew and couldn't pronounce? 
It’s huge to see ones name in a place where most have always seen

but yours is one to never be found jaja
My eldest brother telling me to give no ducks about it and carry on with how things should be 
Taking a second to catch my breath and take my thoughts by the garbage around me 
The physical garbage or the words of garbage both felt the same for a minute

but I didn't let it keep me there
A brother who texts if you need a walk 
Knowing that they’re there to offer a place of understanding and grace for growth 
waking up to Baby Junia being laid on me each morning. so refilling.

grands all rapping to their favourite musical with their aunties

frosting cookies and making more mess in the dough 

all the mess their cute little fingers make is a blessing i'll forever be happy about 

lil Evas crazy dreaded hair every morning makes me laugh just seeing it

my little dreaded headed hair twin

ziplines my brothers set up 

so much fun created by such a gift 

The grandkids who fill a house with noise of life and laughter, mess and sweet excitement 

running around in dress ups pushing strollers full of dolls 

an Uncle who rounds up all the grands to play music together

yelling jig-ga-di at the top of their lungs to their own tunes

doxology around Christmas dinner 

having grandparents that can join us

Buppa giving away his bible at the Christmas dinner table 

A talkative brother who shares from the heart even if he’s drank too much
The laughter he has and joy he gives to everyone
Knowing he’s here with us because his daughters, wife and mother
The words he said to her meant a lifetime of love from her 
By loving him all his life she saved his life
Oh what love can do for someone’s life 
I pray one day my mother knows the difference she has made on thousands who cross her path 
I pray for the right man to love her like she deserves and has desired all her life

all these things and so much more 

we have so much to be grateful for 

Ey laska

Would it be foolish to say sometimes i miss the words sadness give you?
Would it be foolish to say sometimes i miss sadness because of the words it gives you?
I've always loved the words Alaska pulls out of me
I was wondering where they were the first week and remembering my last few years here and all the good things it brought
Unfortunately I won't run into my freckled friend missing his toes in Fairbanks,
he was a hoot and good person to accidentally run into.
I dont understand how times change so quickly and seemingly easy a persons perception of someone stays so much the same.
I cried on the drive into work and what good would that be
to show up at a construction site already crying with the 30yr work-worn-in men
to wonder what a small crying girl is doing on their site today.
It has nothing to do with the job and everything thing to do with last nights conversation
RTB calls me lil-willy on the job.
Funny how the same comment, but from two different people
can mean completely opposite things.
One can be a compliment and another an insult
Depending on ones experience with said person.
In this case it can be taken as a compliment
And I'm thankful for that now
Would you leave someone over not having hot water?
Someone you've made a commitment to?
Pledged your life to?
But no hot water could break you that quickly?
The sad part is knowing it could be true.
Seeing in their character of lack thereof, that they would leave over hot water.
And how sad that must be to be in a commitment with someone whos words could be so easily forgotten 
over whether or not your shower is cold or hot.
In sickness or in health
In richer or poorer
Til death do us part
To my knowledge, nobody has died from a cold shower in the morning
In fact over half of the worlds normalcy is to shower in cold water.
Is he sad to be married to someone who might leave over something so frivolous?
Who doesnt share your past or share their own with you.
Who doesnt meet your kids or know your deepest secrets.
Doesnt share your bank account or their car or your kids.
Who doesnt know your culture and history.
I dont know, but how can it not be sad to be married to someone you can't share your all with? 

I never feel more still...

but i never feel more free than when I'm still

I haven't read my old stuff in too long
But I haven't written new stuff in even longer
Lately I wonder why that is
And what makes some times so vacant and absent of words to write
And why other times it won't stop
My feet are cold tonight but they're painted a new color that changes in the sun 
Tonight I played my old songs thinking of an old season that made me write a lot
A lot of melodramatic things when I look back on it now
But it meant a lot then and made sense
It still makes sense today but it doesn't feel as bad 
I'm curious if theres a real feeling of complete utter joy 

enough that it would plant the need for writing again
Not about sadness and misunderstandings 
But of true contentment or excitement of life 
I haven't had that about one big thing yet (in writing, I have in life)

Of course I have about small little things that give joy

and I write little spurts from things that are lovely in life

Like finding new songs and the perfect shade of red 
Being pat by babies when you're sick or crying at a beautiful book
your friend giving you a fresh pair of socks to keep the sand out of your toes in a beach house. 
And the big things like your sister getting married to the man of her dreams 
Your sisters being kept safe during an accident. 
New babies being born and new babies coming to live with us. 
All sources of huge joy and thankfulness 
the point is; the need you have during sadness to write it all out...
does it also come during good?
I don't mean to sound as though there is no joy in my life, there is

much more than sadness lately which I'm thankful for 
I'm merely curious at the state of writing and when it comes and doesn't (for me)
Is it only during heartbreak and sadness and confusion at life?
Or is it also there during the joyous and good times and I'm just missing it?
Living in it or maybe enjoying it more than taking the time to write it out? 
Is it that when you're sad, you're so consumed in it
It's all you're seeing and feeling so it creates the pressure to write more? 
And during the good times when all is well, you simply see more clearly, enjoy more things, have better mindsets and are not bogged down with having only one outlet? 
Who knows
I don't
Just wondering why I haven't written much lately and is it because life is well? 

and because I learned to write from sadness that I have no need to write?
or (heaven forbid) that I'm empty of meaningful writings

that I could have the potential to write: of life being good? 
Oh lawdy lawdy what a shame to miss that if so 
I want to write when things are well 
I want to write of beauty and something that would make a sad person leave their fog for a second
I don't think I have that yet
but its there in the back of my mind
stirring up feelings on how to write from something other than facts or sadness